Hola, my name is Christopher Columbus and I discovered a tiny island that I named Trinidad in 1498. I was ordained by God to commit genocide among the native Caribs and Arawaks who are the true owners of Trinidad. After the genocide of the First Peoples whom I fondly call “Indians”, I was again ordained by God to bring the ‘Second People’, the African people, not only to enslave them to work, but to save their souls into the European Christian-centric way.
Those who followed me got an idea that since the Slaves are huffing and puffing for freedom it’s time to bring the ‘Third People and Fourth People,’ the Indentured Servants like the Chinese and East Indians. Looking down from Heaven (where the pagan ancestors of the converted are not allowed) I understand now that debates are taking place mostly by my African children who inherited my DNA and those of my comrades to remove my statue which honours me. Why are my children doing this?
Am I not your great-great-grandfather whose descendants brought you to Trinidad and gave you all a common identity that you all are now calling yourself Trinidadians since I named the island after the Trinity Hills? I gave you all the God Jesus, my cousins gave you an English education, and the English language to communicate and cuss down each other in parliament. Removing my statute, my great Columbus statue, CANNOT erase my DNA that flows in your veins, nor your religious concepts and communication skills. If logic prevails, since the enlightenment started in Europe and not amongst your heathen ancestors, why do you tear down my statue but are comfortable with everything else I gave you: religion, name of your country, your Trinidadian identity and eventual language?
Even the Christian East Indians do not want my statue removed, how happily these Indians adapted to their Discovery Culture (the western abrahamicized culture originally founded by yours truly, Christopher Columbus, and carried on by those it was forced upon when they were discovered) of a new God in spite of all the rapes and deplorable working conditions in the sugar cane fields of Trinidad. I ask you Trinidadians as your ‘Discovery Culture Father and your Lord’ – to leave my statue alone because all you have today from language to race was due to me. Have mercy on my statue. The only ones that did not adopt my DISCOVERY GOD are the Hindus and they do not want my statue removed. I haven’t heard a peak from these heathens who are hell bound like the rest of your African ancestors.
In the name of Spain (In whose name I killed those feathered Indians for and named your capital city).
Vassan Ramracha (I do not worship a Discovery God).