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Pardon, Miss, your Lips are Showing

Lester Siddhartha Orie

Lester Siddhartha Orie

While I still concentrate on taking out Putin to save – now not only Ukraine – but the world – (all of us)- as this madman fellow threaten to use nuclear weapons on European capitals, I make a small literary detour from the sublime to the delicious as I wonder what happened to the 1950’s expression, “pardon me, ma’am, your slip is showing”.

For those who have no idea what a slip is, it is/was a female underwear worn under their dress or skirt to camouflage and hide what was yet worn under that. Simply, it made opaque the bra and panty line. Sometimes, however, when the dress inadvertently got hiked up the slip might come into view and so if a lady’s gentleman was around he might inform the victim that she was flashing more than was appropriate as he was having a clear view at one of her pieces of underwear – i.e. her slip was showing.

We might be tempted to think that the age of porn started with the video age when subscribers got their supply of kinky movies under the counter at the video store asking for it using their deep-throated voice and smuggling it under their vests. Actually, porn has been on the market long, long time. “First documented porn pictures were printed in oriental manuals of sex; Kama Sutra was the most popular one among them. The Hindu feared that the paper works would not survive and decorated the temples of Kajuharo with bas-reliefs of numerous figurines of people having sex. Contemporaries need to be absolute virtuosos in case they want to make love using the positions that decorate the temple.

The word “porn” meaning “indecent pictures” or “depiction of whores” came from Greeks who painted such frescos on the walls of their brothels. In a word, such pictures were wonderful advertising of homes where women sold their love to Greeks for money”.

So when you stumble upon a post that invites you to have a look at Serena’s hairy lips, don’t feel she has grown a lush Groucho moustache, it is just a bushy Castro undergrowth. And when she tumbles at Wimbledon and everything slips askew, it’s not pardon, ma’am, your slip is showing, but congrats, sexy, your lips are inviting. Since Serena has always been on the far edge of modesty, she might gladly thank you for having eyes to see what she obviously has no qualms about displaying.

One more: Bag-a-lion was an oversized, big belly fellow in town who took his daily bath at the street standpipe when one day a little boy passed and gleefully shouted, “Mr. Lion, I see your thingy. What? You see my thingy, go and bring my pants with the broad belt in it.” Little boy: “Mr. Lion, don’t beat me, please, he knowing how Lion was merciless with children. When, however, Lion got his pants, he dipped into his pocket and took out a dollar and handed it to the crying boy, saying you see what I haven’t seen for years; now because of you I know it still there.

By Lester Siddhartha Orie

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