The Emperor of Exxoyana called a durbar at the dukedom
to straighten out the natives concerning the differences
between the amount of resources found underground
versus the amount classifiable as recoverable reserves.
He sat on an imperial dais elevated from the restless crowd
while the Maharajah of Stabroekpur paid his due obeisance
and afterwards called a conference to pamper out the details
on how to obfuscate the mathematics of reservoir evaluation.
Then the Nizam of Demerarabad trotted up the stairs
bifurcated at the floor yet joined at the landing at the top;
four steps up to the Emperor’s feet but five steps coming down
charmingly named the Advantaged Stairway of Alistairs.
The Nizam led multiple hurrahs of “One and Only Exxoyana”
until he hoarsed the natives out; then he launched a narrative
of a string of cliched words that made the people wonder
if perhaps he might be a version of ABC Thesaurus Lali.
The Emperor’s only utterance was, “What is wrong with you people?”
whereupon statues of Youpeople appeared, and floated in the roiled air:
their bodies were made of gelatin and their spines were made of twine
their brains were made of old newspapers and their eyes were staring blind
at the footprints of the emperor, at the durbar, in the dear land of Exxoyana.
Tulsi Dyal Singh, MD.