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SATIRE: FOUR SETS OF EYES ON THE AUDIT

by Dr. Tulsi Singh
October 22, 2023
in Features
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The Emperor of Exxoyana has revealed
that they have four sets of eyes
focused on the audit.

It reminded me of when I was a little boy
and my father would take me to Seawell Turn
where we crossed the Grand Canal
and go down along the locker dam
to where the locker gate was situated.

I would stand up on the greenheart plank
which spanned the locker’s mouth
and look down on the shrimps and crabs
piled up against the shuttered gate
waiting for Mister Barclay to raise the gate
and let them out, seaside of the estuary.

When you looked on the other side of the gate
there were hundreds of four-eye fish
gazing at you in return
presumably waiting for their meals
when the gate was raised and the morsels
on which they fed came streaming out.

At first, the four eyes freaked me out
until an elder explained to me
that each of the fish’s two eyes
was divided into an upper and a lower “eye”
so that when the fish was near the surface
it could see both above and below the water.

Since they are using four sets of eyes
I wonder if the four eye fish that disappeared
have been retained and are doing audits
in plush aquariums in some offices in Texas.

Still, I revel at the implausibility
of our four eye fish auditing the numbers
and they can see what’s going on above the table
as well as what might be happening – under!

Tulsi Dyal Singh.

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